Story by Chag Rodreguez

There were ructions last week in the council chambers as the Mayor, Ken Lout, walked in, and it wasn't long before questions were asked regarding the Mayor's sons teeth, or lack of them.

Mr Lout sat down on his special stool with wobbly leg, and before he even clutched his bottle of port, the subject of his sons teeth was hurled into the debate; the Mayor wasn't happy, and he became more angry when Cllr Jack Newcunt stood up wearing a set of comedy false teeth, leading to the Mayor spilling his port and saying, "you are a fat t*** with a bad taste in shirts, go back to your dump of a mansion and eat your face", to which Cllr Newcunt stormed out and eat a pie. The Mayor refused to apologise.

The uproar began when the Mayor's son, Pierce Lout walked into Plonk Library asking for literature about famous playwrights, and bumped into a senior member of the council [who requested to remain nameless] and noticed Mr (Pierce) Lout was missing a front tooth, later to find he had been experimenting in self-tooth removal during his time off as an English teacher at Secondary Modern.

"This has made a mockery of my teaching career" said Mr Lout, adding "and just as I was about to experiment in self-tatooing, which I have put on hold until this unfotunate situation clears up, b*ll*cks". The Mayor refused to comment, and remain quiet whilst the rest of the council chambers 'ripped the p*ss' out of him.

A council insider spoke to us, saying "I felt rather sorry for the Mayor, as he hasn't actually done anything wrong, it's our son that is the disgrace, the pig-ignorant toothless piece of horsesh*t.." Although the debate has died down now, the embarrissment will probnably last for some time.